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Sleep Sharing |
Sleep Sharing
What is it?
"The bosom of the mother is the natural pillow of her offspring" The nocturnal Life of babies - breastfeeding, bedsharing and informed choice. "Sleep contact for human mothers and infants is a species typical trait" I was fortunate to listen to this presentation By Dr Helen Ball at an ABA breastfeeding conference. The link takes you to the slides from it. Natural consequences of sleep sharing It is also called "Night nesting" - I love that term - snuggling with baby between or beside Mum and Dad. As it is the genetically programmed sleeping environment for a baby, there are a number of natural consequences of the close skin contact and sleep-interaction between baby and mother:
Source: "The Science of Parenting" page 70 Co-sleeping is a traditional practise world wide throughout history - why go against that for the hassles of a cot in another room? There are some who believe cots should even be banned as so many injuries happen while babies and toddlers are in them: Is it Time to Abolish Cribs? Safety must be considered with sleep sharing - smokers should never sleep share, nor when adults are intoxicated. More info on safety factors can be found here: Safe Co-Sleeping "Solitary infant sleeping is a principally western practice which is quite young in terms of human history. The practice of training children to sleep alone through the night is approximately two centuries old. Prior to the late 1700s co sleeping was the norm in all societies" (Davies, 1995) Source: www.naturalchild.org Why we share our sleep with baby
How we sleep share
In the feeding to sleep page I've described the techniques, which I call 'sleep sharing minutiae' we use at sleepy-times to induce and support gentle sleep. There are heaps of ways for sleep sharing families! Plus now you can share your little tips - for me to use - and other mums, too! Online resources supporting instinctual care of baby through sleep sharing that have helped me: Australian Breastfeeding Association www.breastfeeding.asn.au The Natural child project www.naturalchild.org Website to research on co sleeping and sleep sharing www.cosleeping.org www.kellymom.com for example The family bed and Studies on normal infant sleep and feeding to sleep and sleeping through the night Wikipedia co-sleeping page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-sleeping Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: The best possible start by Dr Sarah Buckley Dr Sears sleep information and sleep sharing Elizabeth Pantley's website: www.pantley.com/elizabeth Dr James McKenna Frequently Asked Questions About Co Sleeping Pinky McKay's Site - I really benefited from her book, Parenting by Heart A quote: In her book, Parenting by Heart, Pinky McKay encourages parents to trust their own instincts, and connection with their child. "You are unique. Your child is unique. To slavishly follow any method of parenting as though it were a religion, or to expect your child to fit a preconceived stereotype of success, is to deny your child's individuality and your own." Pinky also examines the loss of confidence so many mothers, in particular, experience: she shows parents how to nurture themselves as well as their child, and how to stand strong against those who undermine or oppose their choices. "As well as being your child's advocate, you are his or her most important role model: To care for children and to nourish their identities, requires a strong sense of self. The connection between you and your child can be weakened when you are under stress, lack support or feel you are in unknown territory. At such times you may question your own wisdom and become vulnerable to pressure and inappropriate advice. But when your connection with your child is strong, you will find it easy to parent by heart: to ask yourself "how do I feel?" as well as "What do I think?" And to trust your feelings." Read more: Parenting By Heart Online communities supportive of sleep sharing: Australian Breastfeeding Association Forum ABA Forum Baby Web Central www.babywebcentral.com.au Alternative Baby www.alternativebaby.net Books supportive of sleep sharing:
Learn
Part Time Elimination Communication (EC)
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Tribal Baby
Sleep sharing is a form of co-sleeping. It is having the baby sleeping in bed
with baby's parents. It is so cool. It is how babies are designed sleep, it supports longer
duration of nightly breastfeeding, and so breastfeeding in general, and supports easier
night care of baby, and better sleep for parents. Babies who sleep with their
mothers take in three times as much breast milk during the night as do isolated
babies, thus enjoying a more natural nutritional and immune support pattern. Sleep problems - what
are they? It seems a very important aspect of this is the concept of 'welcoming'
baby into the bed - not suffering them there as a last resort - in such cases,
sleep problems are reported - perhaps as baby wasn't wanted there in the first
place and there were different expectations of their sleeping patterns. Baby gradually learns sleeping behaviour and 'etiquette' by
observation, modelling and experience with Mum and Dad. Baby sleeps well and in comfort and
trust, lessening their need for night nursing until they sleep as the rest of us
do - in their own time. As night-times are pleasant, the transition is,
too.
As
an itty bitty he slept beside me until I became concerned about rolling. Now
baby mostly sleeps between us, sometimes on one side of me, but
for night EC needs, the middle is easier to get his pot. We face each other –
usually his face faces upwards towards me at first (a natural position so the
carbon dioxide in my breath helps stimulate his regular breathing.) I tend to
sleep spooned around him, so that his legs are bent, and his feet are in my lap.
This seems to feel comfy to him, and if he is trying to stay up, if I tuck him
in like that he’ll relax better. I do all these things as he breastfeeds to
sleep, as he is and has always been unable to lay down awake to go to sleep –
he needs the booby help of hormones. He'd instantly scream the moment he is laid
down awake - strong instincts there! It gets faster, though, unless he is supply
pumping or otherwise needing to be attached often at night night now and then. If he does,
I know something is going on - perhaps as he had a fall that day, or is having a
burst of mental development, is teething or has been exposed to a bug he needs
my immune system help to beat - or some reason unknown to me - he has the need, so
I do my best to meet it at maximum ease to both of us.
